Where have all of the Ws gone?

During the morning commute yesterday, I realized something was missing. During this mornings commute, I realized what is was.



All of the Ws are gone:


A year ago, they were everywhere, now I did not see a single one all morning. I have so many questions. When did they go? Why did they take them off?

I picture a beige Buick Century Custom sitting in a garage in the suburbs at night. At 2:00 AM (in the morning) the light in the garage clicks on, you can see it shining out from the crack where the panels meet in the garage door. A pair of feet in pink bunny slippers pads around to the rear of the car and pauses as if the person is listening to see if they are alone.

You hear a faint scraping noise, or a chewing, like a mouse nibbling on a morsel. If you look closely, you see little black pieces of plastic fall onto the concrete garage floor.

You see what they are working on, a little black sticker, half removed from the glass of the Buick's rear window reads:

V
esident

Within minutes the sticker is gone. Slippers whisks the small fragments from the back of the car and the garage floor. They softly pad over to the tool bench and grab a dustbuster. Slippers spends 5 minutes with the dustbuster vacuuming up every last scrap of the black plastic sticker from the nooks and crannies of the rear window and trunk hinges.

Next, slippers grabs a bottle of Windex and a rag and cleans the spot where the sticker used to be, so that the small square outline of dirt and glue is gone. They stand back and admire the job, then clean the entire window, to make the 4 inch clean spot blends in.

The next morning, 7:30 AM (in the morning) the car owner, now wearing sensible shoes, opens the garage door, sunlight streams into the garage and shines on the Buick's rear window. The window sparkles in it's freshly polished glory, pure as the driven snow. No visible evidence remains of halcyon days spent gleefully watching advancing armored columns approach Baghdad to secure "Freedom" and cheap gas for the Buick. No visible evidence remains of the Buick owner's vein popping arguments with traitorous peaceniks as to why the US military needs to use torture, why Donald Rumsfeld is right, why carpet bombing the ragheads is God's will, why Jesus loves the Jews and Christians and wants the Arabs dead.

Today is a new day after all. The rear window is clean.

Thanks to riders like you Mr. Riis.

Bjarne Riis, the Danish winner of the 1996 Tour De France has confessed to doping his way to victory:

Via VeloNews: Riis said he took EPO from 1993 until 1998, including the 1996 season when he won the Tour de France.

This quote really got to me: "I am proud of my results as a rider and an owner," he said.

During the same years that Riis admitted to taking EPO, I was churning the 12 cog over the roads of Europe, clean.

I won two European amateur races in 1994 clean. The next year, the guys who got second in those two races turned pro.

After climbing mountains like I never thought possible, I wore the best climber jersey on the podium the final day of the 1994 Tour De Namur clean.

I am proud of my results as a rider Mr. Riis, as well as of my conduct. You have been part of the problem of doping in the sport, and have damaged cycling in ways you cannot imagine.

When a team manager told me I could become a Pro, I said yeah, but I don't want to dope. He said:

"You are clean? Well, I could set you up with a good Doctor".

Thanks to riders like you Mr. Riis.

Often I was approached at races by kids who wanted to talk about racing, and I took every oppourtunity to talk to them. They would ask about my bike, my team, the training. I would ask when they planned on getting a bike and racing. On more than a dozen occasions a kid would say something to the effect of:

"My parents won't let me race, they say that all of the riders take drugs".

What could I say? As for the pro ranks, it was absolutely true.

Thanks to riders like you Mr. Riis.

I had a friend that quit racing to go into rehab to kick his amphetamine addiction. He was taking them so that his heart rate would go over 220 BPM.

Thanks to riders like you Mr. Riis.

Am I supposed to believe it was just EPO, Mr. Riis? That would be atypical for the '90s. Did you ever take HGH? How about Le Pot Belge?

I believe you should pay back every penny of prize money you earned from 1993 through 1998.

Clinton: I need $1.16 million taxpayer dollars to fund my office.

Clinton tops the list of public funds spending former US presidents.

Carter is second.

Bush Sr. third.

More dopers confess!

From VeloNews.

Christian Henn, Bernt Dietz, (Edited on 5_24 to add Eric Zabel, Rolf Aldag and Udo Boltz) along with Blogging Namesake Jesper Skibbey are among the truthful. As for the rest of them...... The Truth Will Come Out, Bwaaaa Haaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaa Bwaaaaaa Haaaa.......... Snort!

In the "Stupid News Headlines" catagory for today:

Viagra Reduces Jet Lag in Hamsters. - The Register

60-Year-Old Woman Delivers Twin Boys - Fox News

Convicted cannibal seeks soul mate - Fox News

Paula Abdul Breaks Nose in Dog Mishap -Fox News

PHOTOS: The Dwarf Who Played R2-D2, Hairy Chewbacca -- Where Are They Now? -ABCNEWS

You know your Presidential Policies stink when...

Jimmy Carter accuses you of being the worst US President ever.

True Class

The guy that impressed me the most when I was racing in Europe was a guy named Gert D'hondt. He was LeMond's age, which made him really old school in 1996, when Gert started racing again. He was in the Jr. Worlds race in Argentina that LeMond won. After he got home his uncle, a former pro took him aside and said:

"Gert, you have a lot of talent and could be a professional, but you need to know what it is going to entail".

The uncle proceeded to tell him about the doping in the sport of cycling. Gert decided not to take dope, and after several seasons racing as an amateur, became a truck driver. LeMond went on to win the Tour 3 times. Gert's Belgian teammates at the Jr. Worlds included Rudy Dhaens, who later won the Professional World Championship Road Race, and Dirk DeWolf, who had an illustrious pro career.

I raced with Gert for several seasons and was always honored when he was in the break with me. He rode with true class and he rode clean.

What is there left to say?

Let me get this straight:

1. Floyd Landis is appealing the positive test for elevated testosterone, plus a second positive test indicating that some of the testosterone in his body was synthesized in a lab.

2. Floyd's business manager is canned after allegedly calling Greg LeMond and threating the three time Tour De France champ with what amounts to blackmail.

3. Former Giro D'Italia winner Basso is canned after bags of his blood are found stored by a doctor accused of doping.

4. Jan Ulrich, former Tour De France Champion is canned after his blood is found in a freezer alongside Bassos.

5. Ditto Tyler Hamilton blood bag freezer suspect, just back from serving a two year suspension for blood doping. Yeah Tyler, it was a hidden twin in your blood.

5. The Tour De France runner up to Landis, Pereiro is now refusing to take a DNA test to prove his blood is also not in the above freezer, because, and I quote:

"...if I have to use DNA to demonstrate my innocence, I will leave cycling, because it's obvious that cycling like that isn't worth it." -velonews.com

To which I beg to ask: "And you draw the line at DNA testing?

Cheating, lying and blackmail are OK, but DNA, that's over the line.

Andréas Kloden, looks like you might be the 2006 winner, or is your blood in someones freezer too?

More Irony

1. Larry Flint outlives Jerry Falwell.

2. Evel Knievel is still alive after jumping motorcycles for a living, but Elvis died on the crapper.

Evel Knievel, one of the coolest men ever to walk the earth:

And Elvis:

Congrats to Marko

Details of new Munchkin with photo here.

Carson Newman Administrator Doug Taylor Dies in Car Crash

WATE TV Story Here.

This link works in IE, might not work for Firefox.

CCW Story Part 36: IPSC Safety Impresses The Liberal

We all walked the 15 yards to the target, and the IPSC members tallied Todd’s points. As soon as the bullet holes were counted, they were covered with brown tape squares.

“This looks like a lot of fun”. I said to my wife. She nodded agreement.

Unlike during our concealed carry class, and other trips to the range, at the IPSC competition everyone followed all of the rules, all of the time. The pistol waving maniacs at our concealed carry class would have been sent packing in minutes.

The sense of unease that I sometimes felt at the range, the twisting of the gut, followed by a fogging of my safety glasses as I contemplated my demise at the hands of some armed fool was gone while at the IPSC competition. Here was shooting and firearms discipline that was responsible and respectful, a breath of fresh air after watching self taught yahoos wave loaded firearms at every corner of the room.

My Dad's Phonecall

Ring...

Me: Hello?

My Dad: Hey, what's going on?

Me: Not much, what are you up to?

My Dad: I'm in Syracuse at your favorite restaurant.

Me (Thinking): Gropps, not my favorite, there has been a huge blizzard every time I eat there. Snows for days. I have only eaten there three times. Also had dysentery the first time. Probably won't repeat that meal.

My Dad: You know what else I did in Syracuse.

Me (Thinking): Range time. Lucky dad. Then thinking more. He sounds awfully happy. Giddy almost. Probably not the Gropps, usually it has the opposite reaction. Awww man, he must have bought a new gun and just gone to the range.

Me (Out loud): You went shooting.

My Dad: Yup, and guess what.

Me (Thinking first and then saying): You bought a new gun.

My Dad: Yup, guess what it is.

Me (Thinking): Hmmmm. What is the cheapest handgun available. I mean dirt cheap. The kind of pistol that is actually worth less than the box it came in. He already has a CZ-52, so what could it be..... KelTec. Probably a .380

Me (Out loud): A KelTec?

My Dad: (Proudly) Yup!

My H&K USP carrying Wife in car next to me: Ugggh! Blaaaa. %$#* KelTec... etc. etc. etc.

Me: In .380?

My Dad: (Proudly) Yup! Shoots great, low recoil, fits in my pocket, little sucker is the size of a cell phone. It's a lot smaller than my Makarov.

Me: Be careful not to shoot your pecker off with that thing in your pocket.

My Wife in car next to me in the car: KelTec? In his pocket? In his pocket!

Me: How much was it?

My Dad: Well, I traded the CZ-52 for it.

Me: Straight up?

My Dad: Well..... er.......um.........I had to put a "little cash" on it.

Me: Haaaaa Haaaa. Haaaaaa. Snort...... How much is a little? Like $10 little, or $200 little.

My Dad: A little.

Me: About $95.

My Dad: (sheepishly) about $100.

Me Thinking: I will wait until Monday to post the blog entry. Mom will hit the roof when she reads it. Dad will avoid telling mom about it until the KelTec rears it's ugly little head.

I resisted the temptation to ask my dad about it when on the phone with Mom on Mother's day. It would have gone something like this:

Me: Hi mom, love you lots happy mother's day. Hi dad.

My Mom and Dad in unison on phond: Hi, love you to!

Me: Dad, how much did you pay for that new KelTec pistol you bought yesterday.

My Mom (So loud that the speaker springs out of my phone and dangles by it's wires, smoking): WHAT PISTOL?

My Dad: Ohhh Mannnn. Click.

My Mom: What pistol?

Me: Gotta go.... Love you mom! Click. Snicker.

This morning, in my inbox, I find the picture below:

Dad, Congratulations on the new pistol! So, have you told Mom about it yet?

Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms....

Texas State's plans for a body farm have been put on hold because buzzards circling over the cadavers could pose a threat to planes taking off and landing from a nearby airport.

Here in Tennessee, we do it right.

Texas State plans to install cages over the bodies to prevent buzzards from eating the experiments, but it seems reasonable to assume that buzzard damage would occur to bodies lying in the open in Texas anyway. Won't the cages skew the data? I imagine difficulties in trying to determine time of death from a cadaver that has been reduced to buzzard leftovers in the field , especially if all of the data sets for your local environment come from samples that lay under cages.

Here is a highly (un)patentable idea:

Design a remote detector for human DNA about the size of a quarter. Use the techniques employed for remote biological warfare detection systems. Then attach these detectors to thousands of buzzard beaks with aerospace epoxy and fit the buzzards with GPS. Next configure the system to send GPS coordinates and a timestamp if a buzzard begins to eat human remains. Voila! Instant missing dead person detection system! Caveat: For the system to work, the dead person must be outside and not buried, and be tasty.

Irony

Quote: "Soon after the article appeared, an Iranian cleric - angered by its depiction of Islam as a violent religion - offered his house to anyone who killed the journalists, Reuters reported on Friday."

From Aljazeera's story of two journalists jailed for insulting Islam.

When Tam Links, Important People Click.

Note the image below. The NRA visited my blog, four pages worth of it, to be exact. What cracks me up is that they were using the Safari Browser on Mac OS X. Sissy Granola Crunchers! Probably listening to Bjork on the iPod, burning incense and doing Yoga all at the same time.

Real Men use IE on Microsoft Windows, Listen to The Nuge on the AM radio in the pickup, burn underbrush and think that Yoga is a dairy based breakfast food.



Also someone in Haymarket VA is an avid reader of my blog:

At first I thought that it was a search engine indexing the page, with 85 page views, but even on a bad day it should not take 51 minutes to index 85 pages.

On second thought, I think the NSA finally found "THE ARTICLE". Oops.

Note the linkage from The View From The Porch.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Once again, I am shocked!

The New Propaganda Machine

Technology has reached the point that propaganda is now produced by the individuals in the trenches. I have been wondering for a while how this war will be remembered. Will it be as depicted below?


Today, I offer two views of the war in Iraq. Both feature soundtracks, one secular and the other religious. Both feature slogans designed to elicit an emotional response.

The American video features the Marines as Heroes, fighting an unseen enemy. There are no images of violence, it is a sanitized version of the events taking place.

The second video, produced by insurgents in Iraq, features the US troops as the enemy, being killed by an unseen sniper. Images of violence form the centerpiece of the Insurgent's video.

First, the 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines.




Next from the Iraqi insurgency: Juba, the Baghdad Sniper (WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT):




What do you think?

We also play a little football.....

The University of Tennessee
2 Nobel Laureates
7 Rhodes Scholars
6 Pulitzer Prizes
10 Astronauts
And this guy:

Tennessee Carry Permit ->Soon valid in TN State Parks?

Good quote from ColtCCO at the bottom of the article at the Knox News Sentinel.

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