Cycling's dirty secrets

Say it aint so, Jesper.

CCW Story Part 33: At IPSC

That Saturday, my wife and I arrived at the range, unarmed for the first time, as we were watching the IPSC competition. Inside the store, several clean cut people in their mid 40’s milled around, carrying black nylon gun bags. Several of them appeared to be sunburned, it appeared that they spent a lot of time outside.

We were approached by Wanda, who introduced herself as the local IPSC rep. She went into detail about the IPSC format, and the safety rules. Several times she stressed that safety was the most important thing in IPSC competition.

“We have a 180 degree rule, which we strictly enforce”. Said Wanda. “If the muzzle of your weapon breaks an invisible line of 180 degrees, meaning if you point it even the slightest bit past what we call downrange, we ask you to go home immediately”.

This made me feel better, as I was worried that the muzzle discipline would be on par with the concealed carry permit class. Out on the range, several men with push brooms swept up loose brass in a cloud of dust as a woman assembled cardboard targets on a wooden frame.

Nederland: Vrije Land?

Het Nederlandse regering heeft deze week de beslissing gemaakt om de boerka te verbieden in de semi-openbare ruimte. Dit betekend bijvoorbeeld, op straat, trein, en in de bus. Ik vraag mij af hoe het niet illegal is in Nederland in het bloot rond te lopen, maar well hoe het illegal is helemaal gekleed te zijn?

Ja, ik weet het, het verdraagen van en boerka brengt schaade an de samenleving toe. Moslims zijn gevaarlijk, zeker de boerka verdraagers. Heroine verbruikers: steunen, mar boerka verdragers, die zijn viand nummer een.

Verdorie, er zijn zoveel van "deze mensen". Wij moet 'er van kwijt, en zo snel als mogelijk. Wacht! Ik heb een gooie idea! Ze zaal tot een man vertrekken als ze Westerse kledij moet verdraagen. Ik been 'er zeker van! (Ik heb het gezien op Flying Doctors, de keer dat Moslims het vliegtuig bezet hebben. De Doctor heeft ze allemal buiten gesmeten met een te-korte rokje.)

My excuses to the Dutch native speakers, it has been a decade since I used the language, and then it was Flemish from Markedaal. I know I sound like a Flemish farmer who dropped out of school in the 5th grade, who do you think I learned the language from, onnozele kieken!

CCW Story Part 32: IPSC!

On one of our previous trips to the range, I saw a flier on the wall advertising a practical shooting match, hosted by the International Practical Shooting Association.

"What is practical shooting"? I asked Todd.

"It's the coolest"! Said Todd, as he lounged behind the glass display case. "They set up a series of targets and you are timed as you shoot at them. It is one of the only times it is OK to run on the range with a loaded gun in your hand".

The image of my concealed carry classmates, armed AND running began to make my armpits damp.

"How are they on safety"? I asked.

"Oh, they are extremely safety conscious". Replied Todd very earnestly. Todd and the rest of the staff at the gunstore were the most firearms safety conscious folks that I had seen. They had better discipline around firearms than all of the police officers that I know, several of whom I am related to. With the staff's safety record in mind and trusting Todd, as he had been honest with me, and patient in answering all of my naive questions, I noted that the next IPSC match was at 6:30 PM on the third Saturday of the month.

Political Changes Ahead, Conservatives, Beware!

The Democrats set to take over the US house and Senate have announced the following changes in an effort to destroy everything dear and holy to, well just about everyone, including their constituents:

1: The National Anthem will remain the same, however it will no longer be performed live. An official taped version will be played at all events. This version will be performed by Bobcat Goldwait on a kazoo.

2: The funds allocated by President Bush for a wall between Mexico and the United States will be used instead to re-landscape the border to make it more attractive to immigrants, as well as to provide free refreshments to our friends traveling to find work.

2a: The redeployed troops fresh from Iraq will hand out the refreshments mentioned in 2.

2b: The Federally mandated minimum wage will be increased in order to attract more immigrants to the newly re-landscaped border mentioned in 2.

3: John Murtha will be named Senate Majority Leader.

4: In an effort to reach out to disenfranchised Islamic militants, and show that we mean well as a nation, the stars in the US flag will be changed to crescents.

5: A retroactive ban on all firearms will be in place by 2007. Knives, clubs, and rocks will be outlawed. It will be illegal to even make a fist in public. Open handed slapping will become the primary means of self defense.

6: Rush Limbaugh will be stuffed and placed on display in the Smithsonian, Fahrenheit 911 will loop on a Jumbotron above the corpse. All citizens will be required to visit the display at least once in their lifetime.

7: A Congressional decree will mandate that capital letter K will replace the letter C in political words like Kalifornia, Kongress, DemoKrat, Komrade, KoolAid, etc.

8: The US military will be forced to adopt the Romanian WASR AK series of Karbines (Spelling, see 7).

9: All energy will be imported, even watch batteries. The word Green will be capitalized per Kongressional decree. Lawn mowing will be outlawed, along with tree-topping, drilling anything but cavities, and anyone caught in the act of smoking will be sent to prison for life. Folks who accidentally set their hair on fire will be granted an exception, and only have to serve 10 years.

10: All criminals currently in correctional custody will be granted amnesty. All convicted criminals in the future will receive counseling and a do-it-yourself meditative garden seed pack and aroma-therapy Kit, except for smokers, see item 9.

11: The Weasel will replace the Bald Eagle as the National Symbol, no problem in reprinting currency, as the US will be adopting the Euro in 2007.

CCW Story Part 31: Nervous about my first firearm.

At home, the first thing I did was put the ammunition into our gun bag, zip the bag and shut it in a closet. Next, I disassembled the pistol to clean it, as Bruce had instructed us to do. The Bersa has a small lever on the left side, just above the trigger that releases the slide. Removing the slide and flipping it upside down reveals the recoil spring, spring guide pin and the bottom of the barrel. I removed the recoil spring and slide then pulled the barrel out of the slider and examined it, it appeared to be made of stainless steel. After I had removed it, I looked down the barrel, now just a nondescripts tube of stainless steel, and shivered, at the thought of having it pointed at me. .45 caliber, under half an inch in diameter, it felt like I was looking down a rifled train tunnel.

I cleaned the barrel with a brass brush, then ran a cotton wad through it, then oiled it with Breakfree CLP. I cleaned the rest of the components, brushing them with nostril burning solvent, then lightly lubing the moving parts with CLP. The outside of the Bersa was a smooth matte black, while the moving parts were another story. As Bruce had said there would be, there were scratches and machining imperfections on the underside of the slide. The frame appeared to be made of black anodized aluminum. I was satisfied with my purchase. Inexpensive, easily concealable, large caliber, semi-auto. All the things I was looking for in my first defensive handgun purchase.

I reassembled the pistol and dry fired it, for all of it's machining roughness, it had a smoother trigger pull than my wife's Kahr. The moment the trigger dropped the hammer to fire the weapon – called the "trigger break" felt much more consistent than other pistols I had fired, even the Glock. A reasonable amount of force was needed to drop the hammer in double action mode, where the trigger pull moves the hammer to the rear, before dropping it to move the firing pin. In single action mode, the pull was very light. I put the gun up for the night, unloaded at my wife's behest. She felt uncomfortable with me fiddling with it in the house, as I didn’t have a lot of experience with firearms. I complied, as at this stage of firearms ownership, the idea of a loaded .45 in the house made me nervous.

Not much to piss and moan about anymore.

Well, it has been a quiet week. With the Democrats now set to take over the Senate and the House, Rumsfeld seeking other employment, a female speaker of the house, a liberal has less reason to fret.

Now the Taliban will lay down their weapons, North Korea will chain the gates of it's nuclear program shut, and Iran will hold sweeping political reforms.

I wish.

Actually, as he is facing uneployment, I think that Rumsfeld should look into politics in Iran. He has that instinct to leap for the jugular that works well with an incensed public. I bet that if he learned to speak Farsi, he would have a shot at being elected President of Iran. As president of Iran, Rumsfeld could make a good argument for the nuclear program, fend off the UN, Israel, and get to strut around in a bad suit. He could market himelf as a liberal reformer, a friend of the world, a voice of reason in a time of insanity. A Persian diet would do good for his complexion, not to mention his figure. He would look like a 45 year old Robert Culp inside of two years. He would get to yell at press conferences. Yell, hell. He would get to shout and scream. You know that we wanted to scream at press conferences at the White House. You could see it in that vein in his temple. He was dying for public scream therapy.

Announcer:

"Live now, we take you to the White House where Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld is giving the latest on the on-going offensive in Falluja":

Rumsfeld: "Thank you ladies and gentleman of the press, today I would like to announce Whaaaaaaaaaaa, Whaaaaaaaaaa, Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeeeeeeee! Ahhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh........ ahem. Much better. We have taken over the insurgent stronghold, and our troops suffered no casualties."

By replacing the english words in the above paragraph with the phrase: "Death to Israel" and leaving the screaming, you have a speech by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the president of Iran.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, birds chirp, the white hot arrogance of presidential "blitzkrieg" rhetoric cools, not because ideals of changed, but because it has ceased to play well with the public. It was all a show folks, and you saw the strings. Fox news will probably swing left now, in order to secure their ratings, and keep the advertising revenue flowing. The flag is still the flag, these colors don't run, never will no matter who is in Washington. Don't get me wrong, we are still wrapped in the flag, as good Americans should be, we just don't have it stuffed deep into our ears any more. Thank you citizens of the USA for listening to the truth, and voting.

The Decider Decides for Bob Gates

You read it here first:

The Decider has accepted the resignation of my dad's former boss. Bob Gates, former head of the CIA will be taking over as the Secretary of Defense.

I find it interesting that the Decider will "stay the course" until it hurts politically.

Tennessee voters saved my marriage!

The same sex marriage ban passed in TN. It was heavily publicized locally by signs that read: “Protect Marriage”.

Both my wife and I are feeling much more secure in our marriage this morning after the the same sex marriage referendum passed. Thank you voters of Tennessee!

Three possible outcomes of a politically split legislative/executive power base

Scenario 1: (least likely to happen)

The Executive Branch, the Legislative Branch, and the all of the American People work together to win the war on terror. Some evil terrorists who need killing are killed, the USA stops fighting a war for territory, and begins to wage a battle for hearts and minds, and succeeds.

Scenario 2: (most likely to happen)

The Executive Branch and the Legislative branch grandstand, bicker, piss and moan, and throw feces back and forth until the next election, while American troops continue fighting a ground war against a mindset. They have tried valiantly to kill that mindset for more than half a decade with bullets and bombs, but mindset persists. I copy and paste this paragraph verbatim into a blog post sometime in 2010 minus the words "half a".

Scenario 3: (absolute certainty)

The moon turns red as blood, the stars fall from the sky, the meek inherit the earth and there is finally peace in the Middle East.

My Father: The Republican

My father has long voted Democrat, and both my mother and father were liberal until the late 1980's. Now my father has turned Republican, and it is all Lawton Chile's fault.

My mother was turned off of the democratic party by a corrupt Florida sheriff, and Lawton Chiles's stint as Florida Governor in the 90's, of which Wikipedia says: "During his first term as governor, Chiles managed to accomplish very little."

One thing he did accomplish, however was to alienate my mother.

I say alienate, I mean light a bonfire of Conservative Indignation, which means work for the Republican Party. The downside for my father is that he also now works for the Republican Party, helping man voting sites, attending fundraisers, wearing the GOP jackets, putting signs in yards, you name it.

One of my mom's hallmarks is the use of Call Waiting to screen Republican Party Business, which is a euphemism for "Hang up on the Liberal son to see what right-winger is calling". Actually she will hang up, promising to call back, and then forgets for several days: The hallmark of Republicanism.

I joked with my father, who let the call waiting ring to continue talking until the person hung up or left a message, that the urge to hang up on relatives must be a Republican trait. Democrats will speak to the person on the phone out of respect, and let the other caller leave a message.

On Sunday, I called my father to shoot the bull, and he said that he was helping to train Republican poll booth volunteers that evening. I warned him that he might be headed down the twisted path to conservatism, when I heard the telltale clicking on the phone.

"Hold on a minute". He said.

"Uh Oh, you have turned Republican". I said.

"No I have not". He replied, and let the call go to voicemail.

One minute later, the clicking started again.

"Look". He said. "I have to take this, it's probably the folks coming for training, I will call you back".

That was Sunday. I have not heard a peep since then. Today he is manning a polling place for the Republican Party.

Has he turned? You decide.

New Noteworthy Blog: The Arms Room

TamaraK has dedicated blog space to historical firearms. Please visit:

http://cosmolineandrust.blogspot.com/

Or click on the permanant link on the right. Thank you Tam for sharing this resource, and helping to fill vacuum in good historical firearms writing.

CCW Story Part 30: 230 Grains of Justice!

My wife was having a good conversation with the gun store staff as I exited the double door to the range and washed my hands. I went to the counter and said to Todd:

"I need to buy some good self-defensive rounds for my new gun, what do you recommend".

"Well", Todd said, "You should probably go with a good defensive hollow point round".

"What do you use"? I asked, remembering that Todd's everyday carry was a Kimber 1911, in .45 caliber.

"Speer Gold Dot 230 grain". Todd replied. "Speer has a patented bonding system to prevent jacket separations".

Todd was referring to the method that Speed used to keep the lead core of the bullet bonded to the copper jacket. As a hollow point round hits human tissue, the nose of the bullet peels back to form a mushroom shape. The idea is to increase the frontal area of the bullet, and thereby increase trauma in the target. The Geneva Convention outlawed hollow point and dumdum bullets for military use, but they are legal for civilian and law enforcement applications in the US.

The theory is that if your life is on the line, you need the most lethal round in the largest caliber you can shoot, in to increase your chances of survival. You increase your own chances by killing your attacker as quickly as possible.

"How about hydroshocks"? I asked, refereeing to a different well-known brand of defensive hollow point. "Hydroshocks are older, but still good, I prefer the Speer Gold Dots". Said Todd. "230 grains" I said, 230 grains, approximately 15 grams, the weight of each bullet.

"Yes, Todd said, 230 Grains of Justice"! I plunked down $17 including tax and the BATF 10 cent tax for what some would argue was the most lethal round my pistol would chamber. I opened the cardboard box and looked at the 20 shiny bullets, neatly arranged in a plastic holder. At each bullet's tip a large hole was outlined by seven points, where the brass jacket was weakened, allowing the bullet to mushroom and rapidly drop any would be assailants. Amazing, I thought, that as a civilian, I am allowed to carry this gun with bullets I could not use if I was in the army.

For my Saudi reader as promised, LiberalCCW delivers!

I was walking the dog this morning, and while he was taking a crap, I started thinking about the CIA.

I imagined my Saudi reader flying to Iceland for a geothermal power conference, and passing through BAA Heathrow, and deciding to run across the street for fish and chips during the layover. (Probably not possible at Heathrow, but it's my imagination, so lay off already!)

As my reader's name is similar to the name of an infamous cleric in Jeddah, he has flipped a bit in the CIA/DIA/NSA computer and is picked up off of the sidewalk in front of the chips shop and shoved into a van.

Since he is considered an "enemy combatant" he dissapears, and flies out of Heathrow on a LearJet owned by "Pacific Business Consultants" of Portland OR, headed not for Iceland, but for Bulgaria, where he spends the next two years living La Vida Loca, and then is released. He has a very bad time in Bulgaria, and swears to never cross the street in London for Fish and Chips again.

What he needs: Extraordinary Rendition Insurance.

Think about this market, dear capitalist readers: Every middle eastern man that travels on business could be whisked off to a secret prison at any time, who pays the bills while he is away? Is his family notified of his whereabouts? No, that would compromise national security. Does he get red cross packages? I doubt it. Do you suppose he gets compensated for his time? Not by the Bulgarians, although I am sure that they are compensated handsomly. I can say with reasonable certainty that he is not compensated by by the CIA/DIA/NSA folks who sit in on the "questioning". They don't care that he missed his geothermal power conference sessions and the birth of his first child. They want to know which cave Osama is hiding in. Unfortunately for my Saudi reader, his PHD in geology won't help him on this one.

I can see the add now: Cigna ERI, because in these trying times, you never know if you will get to where you are going.

Visitor from Saudi Arabia

To my recent web vistor from Saudi Arabia, running Windows XP (British English Version), I hope thay my post on Iran was a good read. I plan a post on Saudi Arabia shortly, so please be patient.

I would invite you to comment on the Saudi view of the USA's I mean coalition's war on terror.

CCW Story Part 29: First time at the range as a firearm owner.

The gun fired much like I remembered from the 14 rounds I had fired the month before. I was shooting it more precisely than the Kahr, but tended to fire an inch high and left when firing at seven yards. I shot round after round until my right hand got tired, so I shot left handed. My wife got bored shooting her Kahr and went back to the store.

I stayed on the range and fired until the Bersa's barrel got hot. As the Bersa belched flames downrange, I felt a strong sense of self-reliance, as if I was prepared for the unexpected. I could now defend my home with lethal force, should the need arise. My odds of doing so were infinitesimally small compared with the danger posed by having guns in the house, but those odds still exist. I ran out of ammunition, so I removed the Bersa's magazine, locked the slide back and boxed it up. I carried it boxed from the firing line and zipped it into a gun bag. No walking around the line with the gun loaded and my finger on the trigger for me.

Would I ever get lax, and stop following the safety rules? Would I start to assume the gun was unloaded simply because I had remembered unloading it? Would the handgun prematurely end my life, or prolong it? It amazed me that such a small piece of metal could have so many consequences.

The way things ought to be...

First, I suggest that the Democratic party require sobriety tests of all Democratic Party Public Figures before they speak to people. Give John Kerry two tests, in case the first result is inaccurate. We know you are all drunk and/or stoned from the late night party the night before, please take some time to come down before you go on TV. I saw James Carville on TV this morning, he looked like a Gargoyle on PCP and Speed.

This, ladies and gentlemen of the moderate left, is your face to the nation: (Carville in a deep fried southern accent, with enough facial tics to register on the Richter scale):"John Kerry misspoke when he said "Stuck in Iraq", -Wooo -Wooo, here come the flying monkies. Wooo, that's a big purple sucker right there! He meant to say "get us stuck in Iraq", cause we all know that Bush is an idiot. -Wooo Ugg, dust mites in my britches!"

What is truly terrifying is that Republicans sound just as looney as the Democrats, and they are stone cold sober.

A case in point, I just had a right wing co-worker blame Iraq's brewing sectarian violence on Bill Clinton.

The two salvations of the Democratic Party: Drug screening before appearances, and an Democratic Agenda that makes no mention of the Republican Agenda.

To my concerned readers, a clarification:

I have had several readers from Iran point out that no Americans have been beheaded there since, well the beginning of recorded history. All of the most recent beheadings of Americans have occured in Iraq, or America, with probably a few American accidental beheadings occuring annually in international waters.

It seems that Iran is trying to get off of the "Axis of Evil" status, and into the "Vacation Hotspot" status. I picture the first meeting between Mahmoud Amhadinejad and George W. Bush:

Amhadinejad: "We are not part of the Axis of Evil".

Bush: "Yes you are"!

Amhadinejad: "You are the Axis of Evil"!

Bush: "No, you are the Axis of Evil"!

Amhadinejad "No, YOU are the Axis of Evil"!

And so on for about an hour.

I wish that citizens of both countries would admit that they had nincompoops for leaders and put people in charge who understand that endlessly repeating either "Death to Israel" or "We will stay the course" don't count as foreign policy.

What sort of death is Amhadinejad speaking of? Crib death, death metal, sudden death, death squads, brain death, death and ressurection?

What course is GW supposed to be staying? If Bush is referring to intercourse, then he has a long way to go before he even comes close to Bill Clinton's appetite. I will go on the record and recommend to Bush that he not even attempt to break Bill Clinton's record. Bush does not have that type of stamina. Although I will give credit where credit is due, Bush is doing it to both Iraq and Afghanistan at the same time, while lustily eyeing Syria and North Korea. Monica Lewinsky, eat your heart out.

Travel to Iran, the vacation paradise!

This story on CNN got me thinking:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/11/01/iran.tourism.ap/index.html

Not that I was not thinking before.

A hot new market: Hostage insurance.

What sort of premium would you be willing to pay should you be travelling to a middle eastern country for vacation? The payout would be to cover your bills until you were released or beheaded, so that when and if you got home your stuff woulden't be on the street. If you did end up getting beheaded, at least your family could keep your knick-knacks.