What struck me was the Hot Sellers of the Month:
A unisex fake urine for cheating on drug tests, and a auto lock picking tool.
The fake urine is advertised with the tagline:
"The Quick Fix is designed to keep your medical history private and will cover nicotine, pregnancy, and ailments such as diabetes. And great for those experience a shy bladder."
Yeah, right. I use fake urine because I have a shy bladder and I can't piss when I know there is some guy in the next room. Not because I have so much THC in my urine that it melts through the cup and the floor and makes my peehole burn like I spent the last two months earning my living at a Transvestite Bar in Amsterdam.
And I want to keep my "Medical History Private". Mmmm hmmm.
The lock picking tool is also good, if you are too stupid to get a spare key made for your car, or for boosting cars that are not your own. "I was just opening it for a friend, officer". It gets even better if you just follow the hot monthly product links, the whole thing degrades into brass knuckles and lipstick knives.
You could also just get off of the dope and get a spare key. If you are too dumb to get a spare key for your car, and tend to hit the bong on a daily basis, perhaps you shouldn’t run around with a CZ-82 and 12 9X18 Mak rounds in your britches.
I failed to mention the other adds at the bottom of the page for a taser and a book on getting your FFL. Put this all together and you have the nightmare neighbor scenario: Banging on the door of a ramshackle house at 3:00 AM. "Cletus, I am trying to sleep, will you please turn off the full spectrum lights, stop shooting at my cat, and keep the Ferrari out of my yard!"
Add a Lhati, and your neighborhood could make the front page of USA Today!
It appears that Keepshooting.com is in the hoodlum kit business. Order one for you kid today, just in case he bombs the SAT! Liberal CCW recommends you get the Grand Theft Auto Combo for starters.
Click Already!
2 comments:
FFL holders of any variety are an unlikely to be hoodlums as harvard grads are (Enron excepted). FFL holders are subject to snap inspections of their storage facilities, meaning homes, by the BATFE. I know, I have one...
I am not suggesting that the FFL holder that sells the "Grand Theft Auto Combo" is a hoodlum outfit, just that they sell "Hoodlum Kits": Guns, Brass Knuckles, car lock picking tools, instructional videos, fake urine for cheating on drug tests. Oh, sorry, pregnancy tests . Wink, Wink. For the record, I have never met an FFL holder I diden't like.
Post a Comment