Me: Hello?
My Dad: Hey, what's going on?
Me: Not much, what are you up to?
My Dad: I'm in Syracuse at your favorite restaurant.
Me (Thinking): Gropps, not my favorite, there has been a huge blizzard every time I eat there. Snows for days. I have only eaten there three times. Also had dysentery the first time. Probably won't repeat that meal.
My Dad: You know what else I did in Syracuse.
Me (Thinking): Range time. Lucky dad. Then thinking more. He sounds awfully happy. Giddy almost. Probably not the Gropps, usually it has the opposite reaction. Awww man, he must have bought a new gun and just gone to the range.
Me (Out loud): You went shooting.
My Dad: Yup, and guess what.
Me (Thinking first and then saying): You bought a new gun.
My Dad: Yup, guess what it is.
Me (Thinking): Hmmmm. What is the cheapest handgun available. I mean dirt cheap. The kind of pistol that is actually worth less than the box it came in. He already has a CZ-52, so what could it be..... KelTec. Probably a .380
Me (Out loud): A KelTec?
My Dad: (Proudly) Yup!
My H&K USP carrying Wife in car next to me: Ugggh! Blaaaa. %$#* KelTec... etc. etc. etc.
Me: In .380?
My Dad: (Proudly) Yup! Shoots great, low recoil, fits in my pocket, little sucker is the size of a cell phone. It's a lot smaller than my Makarov.
Me: Be careful not to shoot your pecker off with that thing in your pocket.
My Wife in car next to me in the car: KelTec? In his pocket? In his pocket!
Me: How much was it?
My Dad: Well, I traded the CZ-52 for it.
Me: Straight up?
My Dad: Well..... er.......um.........I had to put a "little cash" on it.
Me: Haaaaa Haaaa. Haaaaaa. Snort...... How much is a little? Like $10 little, or $200 little.
My Dad: A little.
Me: About $95.
My Dad: (sheepishly) about $100.
Me Thinking: I will wait until Monday to post the blog entry. Mom will hit the roof when she reads it. Dad will avoid telling mom about it until the KelTec rears it's ugly little head.
I resisted the temptation to ask my dad about it when on the phone with Mom on Mother's day. It would have gone something like this:
Me: Hi mom, love you lots happy mother's day. Hi dad.
My Mom and Dad in unison on phond: Hi, love you to!
Me: Dad, how much did you pay for that new KelTec pistol you bought yesterday.
My Mom (So loud that the speaker springs out of my phone and dangles by it's wires, smoking): WHAT PISTOL?
My Dad: Ohhh Mannnn. Click.
My Mom: What pistol?
Me: Gotta go.... Love you mom! Click. Snicker.
This morning, in my inbox, I find the picture below:
Dad, Congratulations on the new pistol! So, have you told Mom about it yet?
2 comments:
Haven't told her yet, and I'm hoping she doesn't get time to read your blog....FYI the family jewels are still intact
Dad
When she finds out, you might be sleeping in the Myata with the KelTec as a pillow...
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