One coworker (worker 1) of mine runs to the window and makes amorous cat noises any time a cute girl walks by. We work at a University, so this happens every 7.5 seconds, on average, making him seem as if he has Tourettes syndrome. Another coworker (worker 2) has been acting loopy lately, as he has stopped making sense in his conversations (with other people) and has taken to listening to Buddy Holly tunes on his PC speakers......at full volume. It's like having a front seat at the Ed Sullivan show, with Ed filming live in a three story industrial pilot plant.
I imagine how it must seem to people walking by when they hear the roar of machinery mixed with overdriven speakers blasting "Peggy Sue.....Peggy Sue......My Peggy Sue....Hooo, Hooo, Hooo!" They look to see a man in his late 20's with his nose pressed pig-like against the glass, eyeing them with a lurid glare, the glass fogging rhythmically as he shouts "meeee-ooowww, grrrrrrr.........meeee-ooowwww!" at them.
Our bookkeeper is in his 70's and keeps forgetting how to enter overtime pay into the accounting system. Instead of asking someone to show him how to do it, he just doesn't enter overtime hours. This works the girl-ogling coworker into a foaming lather, and he and the bookkeeper get into shouting matches. For weeks now, the girl-ogler opens his paycheck, eyes it with one eye, while monitoring the window with the other, and emits a stream of expletives. I secretly wonder if he has ever gotten any of his overtime pay. He has been here for three years.
After one of these shouting matches over overtime pay, as coworker 1 was running to the window, and coworker 2 was trying out Richie Valens at 110 dB, I had the following conversation with a visiting scientist:
Me: "Well coworkers 1 and 2 are crazy".
Scientist: "How so"?
Me: "Watch 1 run to the window, and listen to the noises he is making. Look at worker 2 at the control panel for the machine, talking to himself, he has not made sense in a thing he said all day. I am afraid that when I go to check on him, I will find him sucking his thumb and listening to the Muppets singing "The 12 days of Christmas".
Scientist: "True, 1 does run to the window an awful lot".
Me: "And our bookeeper is senile".
Scientist: (Laughing) "I know that is true! If everyone here is so flawed, what is your problem"?
Me: (Telling absolute truth): "I have a tension headache".
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2 comments:
You'll learn with time that that is just your average workplace and in your next job you'll find that co-workers 1 & 2 are merely slightly qwirky compared to the next bunch.
Dad
Dad,
Thanks for the comfort. Now I wish I had kept racing bikes.
Jesper
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